Thursday, March 31, 2011

Tim Hortons Has Succumbed To Normalicy

My cat ripped apart the pom-pom on my hat today. I loved that hat more than life. I took a picture of the crime scene, and I refuse to scratch his belly any more. But I slipped him some fish from the table, and ten minutes later he threw it all up. Ungrateful fool.
So tomorrow is April Fools Day! hehehehe..... beware family. I've always been a devoted April Fool-er, and this year is no different. I'm waking up at 5:30 to accomplish everything I have to do - I wrote out a long list and everything. All the supplies are in my room, ready to be un-leashed for their life's purpose tomorrow morning. I've already done a few things tonight:
- tied all of Davids shirts together
- exchanged all of dads dress shirts and dress pants for Davids
- I got David to exchange dads underwear for his
So dad is gonna have a lot of small clothing tomorrow!
I have the camera battery all charged up for the surprised faces of my unlucky victims. Oh, how I love whoever thought up April Fools Day....
And how I hate whoever thought up Cold Stone Creamery.
Tim Hortons has added a new franchise to their company: this disgustingly delicious looking ice cream shop.
This is vile! Disgusting! An outrage!
I've loved Tim Hortons all my life because of two things: Donuts. And the fact that they were un-franchised, un-commercialized, un-glorified. They were Timmies. They were Canada's thing. They were the start to every vacation, they were the pick-me-up to sluggish days.
But now all they want to do is sell more. More stores, more money. More things. They've completely turned around their "loving, friendly" atmosphere into just another goddamn overpriced overglorified overproduced food chain. The Tim Hortons of my childhood is gone...
I refuse to ever buy anything there ever again. I can't believe Timmies has succumbed to society's overproducing ways.
And my brother is forcing my sister-in-law and their kids to move to Edmonton with them. Now I can't watch my nephew and niece grow up. I was going to take him to his football, help him learn to ride a bike... I was going to take her out for ice cream and buy her a pretty dress... now I'll see them every five months and they won't know who the fuck I am.
:8(

- Meghan
P.s. - resist the timmies.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Bread-Nappers?

Them bread nappers.  Whatcha gonna do with them?
Im planning on writing a book.  What do you think?
I think her best friend is going to be just like you.
She is going to have some kind of disease.  The main character, not your character.  Anyways, what do you think that your character's name should be? Do you still love the name Lola? p.s. Her name will not be Lola.
I have to think of a disease too.
I better go do that.
-Aly

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Bread and Pain

 BEFORE YOU READ THIS:
P.s. - If you highlight the words, it's easier to read. Sorry about the whole jelly bean thing. It's hard to find a good color to use as writing, because the jelly beans are quite colorful. I don't even like jelly beans all that much. They're just pretty.


I honestly can not move. I'm curled up in a ball right now, pathetically pumping out about a letter every three seconds with my index finger.
I tried walking down the stairs, but my legs gave out halfway through. I then gracefully proceeded to slide down on my butt. I crawled to my room, and laid on the ground for about 20 minutes, having a pitty party for myself. I'm gross and sweaty and I smell like Moise after too much gym, but I can't take a shower because I can't stand up.
And oh joy of joys, I have a history test to study for. The fact that the class is in french isn't exactly doing wonders for my grade either.
There are random relative in my house right now. I have no idea who they are, but they're hogging the bread. That's a good enough reason for me to hate them. They came at 2:00 in the morning, and I left for school before I saw them. But they ate all the bread. Shameless fools.
Well actually, I do know who they are. They're my great-aunties kids, who came to visit my great-aunties nephew, who is in the hospital with my great-aunties son, who oddly enough married my dad's second cousin's nephew. God, I hate my family. Too big. Too confusing. Too many bread-napping qualities. I don't even have all the names of my aunties and uncles down....

- In Severe, Deadly Pain ~ Meghan

Monday, March 21, 2011

Soft and silky as Death Eating Calculators.

Lunch Time is Death Eating Calculators time.
Thats right.
I found this amazing site, called www.sloganmaker.com
Like if you type in "Voldemort" here are a few good examples.
Voldemort never sleeps.
There is no life without Voldemort.
 Pure Voldemort, Pure Power
It's wonderful, it's Voldemort.
Isn't this great?
Or you could put in something purely ridiculous, such as Puppy farts and get...
All you need is Puppy Farts.
Puppy Farts make the world go round.
Puppy Farts - Its finger lickin' good.
Sunny, magic, Puppy Farts.
In the words of Austin McAusland- I kid you not.
This is the real deal my friends.
Or, in my case, FRIEND because meghan is the only one who will see this.
Adios, senorita.  I must leave to watch Hawaii Five-0.
-Aly

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Cheese Nuggets!

I have homework tonight.
and I also want to have a bath.
and my dad made me steak for supper. and baked potatoes.
and corn.
And it was GOOOOOOOOD.
And i miss my mommy
and i have to make her a present
and I want it to be something cool
And i really really really really really really really really really really really really really REALLY REALLY don't want to go to school tomorrow.
School Sucks
I'm smart, i don't need it.
I know simple fractions, all i need is a building to have as my bakery.
Do you think i could buy a bakery with 250$?
I dont think so.
*sigh*
Life sucks sometimes, man.
-Aly

Friday, March 18, 2011

P.S.

If you highlight the text it is much easier to read.
-Aly

NEWS FLASH

Not really, I'm just kidding.
Here is a letter I wrote to Meghan.
AHEM.
     Dear Meghan,
I sincerely hope that i was not one of those friends that were making you angry.  I also hope that you are feeling better.
I hope the Lollipop helped, and if it did, then I shall buy you candy more often. 
We must always bond by playing Mario Party 7 at my house and high-fiving when we do something awesome.  Well, we always do awesome things, because, well, let's face it, we are just plain ol' awesome. ( Not to brag or anything)
You may not steal my rain boots and eat all my cookies, even if i refuse to attend your talent show. Which, by the way, i was planning to go to since I saw your comment.  It sincerely made me chuckle.
On your birthday I shall maketh thee cupcakes.
Some day you shall come over and paint with me, I have a large canvas that we should paint on together.
L-Y-I-N-G is how you spell lying
You may come over and make obstacle courses and shred paper and play darts and chill at my house whenever.
As long as I'm home.  And I invite you.  But you're pretty much always Invited.
You are pretty much almost always invited to supper, seeing as we don't have company or we are clebrating a very special event i.e Birthday, Graduation or stuff like that.
Yours Truly,
Aly

Granny Dino's





I swear, this picture gets me every time. I love Aly's face. She looks like an old granny dinosaur that forgot her false teeth in the jar.
And for any randoms that chance upon this blog, I'm the one on the left, and Aly's the granny dinosaur on the right.
P.s. - My edits are usually better then this. I was experimenting with the pixelator. xD

- Meghan

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Coffee House

So I danced in coffee house today. Danced: as in highland dancing. Aly came, which was nice. I mean, I threatened her, and then she came, but whatever.
So Jeff ( Aly's big brother ) piped on the bagpipes for me and my dancing buddy Angela, and we danced. Then we danced off stage and Jeff did his own thing, which was actually pretty sweet.
My friend Jenna was there too, which was nice.
And then at the end, the scary big kids forced us on to the stage to sing Don't Stop Believing... it was scary...
Well, I don't really have much else to say. Only that I'm surprised in myself. A year ago, I would've fainted just audition for Coffee House, never mind dancing! Actually, I felt like running away. I hid in the bathroom for most of the time. :P
My self-confidence needs some work. I'm becoming waaaayy too familiar with the bathroom. Its actually quite pathetic.
Anyway.
Night-night.

- Meghan
So today, I had a request for a post. That's never happened before, largely due to the fact that no one's ever known about this blog before.
The Requester: Sam Stinn - alias, Ciborg Genius
Soo.. yeah. I guess I'm supposed to write about Sam.
Hm.
Well, she has a boyfriend. His name is Nick, he has a broken arm, he pee's on streets and eats a lot. 
Sam has red hair. She decrees that one day red heads will take over the world. I disagree.
She's funny and slightly weird and pretty. For some strange reason she considers 80% a failure. I consider 80% a celebration. Well, for math that is.
She obviously has stellar choice in friends, and she has good choice in shoes, too. ( Doctor Seuss shoes! xD )
She plays like, god knows how many instruments. ( Piano, saxophone, violin, ect... ) She was kind enough to introduce me to the fantabulous word "Airhead."
We've had a lot of good times, along with Kara and Mackenzie, two other awesome people.
Yet there is one tiny, yet important thing I absolutely hate about her.
TEACHER FAVORATISM! grrrrrrr..........
So she gets 97% on a test, then "fails," and gets 84%. But instead of adding those two together, the teacher just drops the 84%, saying its her "little gift to her students."
I could go on, but I have to go eat......
Chow. ( Ciao ? )

- Meghan

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I Ususally Abhore Dramatic Shpeels

Well, I haven't posted in a pathetically ridiculous amount of time.
So. My life sucks.
Well, not really. Parts of it are averagely good.
But then there's math
And retarted friends
and..............flooding basements. Yeehaw.
Also, Demon Dance Teachers From Hell With Expectations. I don't care if I have talent. I want to sleep for once. And get a higher mark on a math test so my ciborg genius friend can stop bothering me...
Oh yeah. I got a cat. Full name: Elvis the Terminater, E.T. for short. Because David (little brother ) loves the movie E.T.
He has this friend, Reid. Reid is short and blonde and crazy and funny and possibly Davids clone. Minus the funny. Anyway, they have this stuffed E.T. thing from the movie. Whenever Reid comes over, they head down to the basement, throw E.T. into some obscure unknown corner, turn all the lights off, and search for E.T. When they find him, they scream bloody murder and run upstairs. But the fun thing about this is that whenever the lights go off, I am already in the closet, hiding. I swear they screamed so high that only a dog could of heared. And David had nightmares about me for two months after. I have no idea how Reid fared.

I think it's funny when British people say bloody hell.

Ten Things People Would Just Be Better Off Without:
10. Gossip. Honestly. Just give it up. Does it help anyone? Does it help you? No. Now shut up. I'm trying to eat my sandwich. I don't care if her shoes are overely sparkly.
9. Complaining. I don't care. I have to do it too. Now shuttup.
8. COD obsessed males. Try sitting in math class every day hearing ME talk about mani's and pedi's and hair. So shut the fuck up.
7. High Pitched Whiny Voices. Nobody's taking you seriously, you don't sound hot, cute, or sexy, so just stop, and resume your normal God-given voice.
6. Granny Panties. No mom, my butt isn't a size 14, thankyou very much.
5. Umm... hmm. Peanut Butter. That foul concoction is the very essence of hell itself, risen straight from the pits of Doom.
4. Braggers. You know, I can honestly be genuinely happy for you. And when I hear it for the 50372759837th time, expecially when you compare me to whatever you did better than me, your nose can be genuinely bloody.
3. Math.... just math.....
2. Lieing. ( how the fuck do you spell lieing???? ) The truth will set you free. Supposedly. So.. stick with cheesy quotes. The truth probably does work out better in the end. Sometimes. Lieing is handy, though. so I'll be hypocritical and not follow this all the time.
1. Natural Disasters. 'Nuff said.
( Also, as a side note, Justin Beiber could be an optinonal replacement with lieing, if need be )

Well, I had a shitty-ass day, with some shitty-ass friends ( not ALL of them, just claryfiying )
The funny thing is, no one would ever be able to tell. Smile, right?

I just wish I could be living in an apartement, living off of pancake mix, grilled cheese and KD, dancing with the blinds shut to whatever beautiful I feel like.
Oh, and I'm usually not this dramatic. I find it overly cliche.

- Meghan